Babies. shudder

nobody@vox.com(Jessica) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 06:10:31 -0700

Nick Swardson-Babies

Yes, I agree.....

Babies are frightening. I don't want to hold one or play with one or take care of one...and F giving birth to one...*shudder*

I hate holding babies. It's creepy. If you don't hold their head up their necks snap. Get it away from me.

I'm not saying babies aren't cute. They are. I just don't want one.

My whole life I have been told, on numerous occasions, by many different people, that my views on wanting babies will change as I start getting older.

My response? Fuck that shit.

It's especially irritating when such comments come from MEN. Haha! Shut the fuck up!

If a small human being was ripping it's way through your private parts, I'm sure that would put a whole different point of view on it for ya.

Haha.

The passing of time won't change my thoughts on the actual BIRTH PROCESS, or the fact that I'm gonna have to support this little unappreciative asshole until it is out of college. And God knows how long that could take...

The only way you're ever going to catch me pregnant is if it was a complete ACCIDENT. And who knows if I could even go through with having it..

Eew. Pregnant. Fucking sick. I cringe just thinking of the whole thing.

Spare me all the goriness, thanks.

If other chicks want it, I have no qualms with that, whatsoever. I just don't understand why anyone would *willingly* go through child birth. I'm not a very warm and fuzzy person inside, so arguments such as "it's rewarding/fulfilling" aren't compelling for me. All I think of is how horrid it will be trying to get the fucking thing to shut the hell up and stop screaming at 4 am. You can't hit it, or put tape over its mouth or ANYTHING. You have to just deal with it. Ahhhhhh I could go insane just imagining it. That, and stretch marks. And getting fat. And other bodily disasters that need not be mentioned. I'd prefer not to sacrifice myself.

IF for some reason I decide in the future I want to take care of some little gremlin for whatever reason, I'll adopt one.

And it will probably be comparable to Kowalski.

Honestly though, I'm 23. If I haven't even remotely softened up to the idea of having a small version of me running around, by now, then it's just not happening. It's hard to soften up to something whose screaming/crying ranks #1 on my mile-long list of great irritations in life.

I give major credit to those who had kids/are prego/are planning on having kids....

I don't know you do it. I sure as hell couldn't.

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Babies. *shudder*

Babies. shudder